There are lot of on going discussions about homosexuality
and LGBT issues, highlighting the need for understanding their needs and
problems, related to self and society. But what seems to be missing out in the
campaign by the supporters and other professionals, is their lack of focus on
creating awareness and popularizing the details, about the exact conditions or
diagnostic standards, which can help people identify themselves as gays and
lesbians.
In my
clinical experience with teenagers, many have aired the suspicion about being
homosexuals. The distressing fact is that, many were feeling guilty about such
orientation. This feeling of guilt has been affecting their interpersonal
skills and self esteem and in fact been a major source, for most of their
emotional problems. But in most of the cases, a simple exploration of the
details provided by these individuals, regarding their habits, behavior and
thoughts, indicate that they are indubitably heterosexuals.
Teens
who find themselves having sexual thoughts and attractions, which can be
identified as an integral part of their evolution to adults, consider it as abnormal
or an offence on which they don’t have control. For some, these feelings and
thoughts are so intense, confusing and disturbing. This is especially true for
people who are having romantic or sexual thoughts about someone of the same
gender. Many of them start developing these feelings with simple experiences, such as feeling
fascinated by individuals of their own gender, who were more dynamic or
physically fit with book defined body shapes or
achievers with fan following. These thoughts of fascination, being reinforced
as sexual attraction, by the peers has been an add-on cause for the stabilization
of such false beliefs, which later start haunting them.
One major
source of sexual pleasure, satisfaction or ventilation in teens is fantasizing.
Fantasizing sexually about both the opposite sex and same sex is quite common, as
teens sort through their emerging sexual feelings. This is just a part of adding
diversity, to their sexual fantasies to get the expected excitement. This type of imagining about people of the
same or opposite sex doesn't necessarily mean that a person fits into a
particular type of sexual orientation.
There
were a few others who were so ignorant, that they starting having apprehensions
that sexually stimulating themselves while masturbating means they are also
homosexuals.
But the
most vivid belief of being homosexual is seen with many whose first sexual
contact has been with their own gender either as a part of sexual use, abuse or
contact with consent under various circumstances. This has been the experience revealed
by many people who have been living in hostels and other dwellings where they
are forced to live in shared rooms. After their first contact they usually
voluntarily repeat the experience, because that is the only source of sexual
pleasure available in these conditions. This leads to habituation of satisfying
their sexual needs by utilizing available sources, which strengthens their belief
of being homosexuals.
Teens experimenting
sexual experiences, including those who do it with members of the same sex,
during the years, when they are exploring their own sexuality, do not
necessarily mean that they are homosexual, bisexual or hetro. These individuals
who are victim of circumstances, never get or seek opportunities to clarify
their habits and sexuality. Thanks to the stigma and superficial secrecy that is
being maintained on the subject. They never take any initiative, till such time
that their feelings of guilt or anxiety related to discrimination by the society
has a negative bearing on their
functional abilities or they get ready to enter into a marital relationship.
Their problems
are further compounded by the lack of adequate information related to the
subject, or professional to whom they can have an easy access, and who can help
them to come to a conclusion on their sexual orientation. Many over come the
habit once the start moving freely with opposite gender or get a opportunity
for heterosexual contact. However till they have this experience they have a
strong belief that they are homosexuals which becomes the source for distress.
So while
trying to support and fight for the genuine rights homosexuals, it is equally
important that enough measures are taken to create awareness about
homosexuality and about the thoughts and behavior which can ascertain a person
as homosexuals. Else soon we will have a big community of youngsters who spoil
their lives due lack clarity about their sexuality status.
