Wednesday, November 7, 2012

UNDERSTANDING SEX AND SEXUALITY- by R.Manoj Marital Counselor and Psycho Sexual Therapist Chennai


Understanding Sex & Sexuality

          The general prevalent knowledge related to sex may just be restricted to knowing something about the perceived sexually sensitive areas of the opposite sex, sex organs, sexual intercourse, reproduction and to a very great extent the inflated image about the pleasure of a sexual encounter.
          The source of these informations are usually the informations transferred by tittle-tattle among the peers under the smoke screen of confidentiality as this is a subject that is restricted from public discussion by various social norms in the society.
          The basic knowledge about sex starts usually in the preadolescent or early adolescent periods with the “kitty” talk related to sex among the peers specifically in the context related to the sexual organs where most of the informations transfers are based on the exaggerations of the minimal information which each child has accessed to. At the next stage the knowledge is developed from the informations given by sophomores who also do not have any real information but exhibit the same just to demonstrate their knowledge experience and dominance.
          In today’s world the prime source of information is the World Wide Web and internet search engines which also gives easy access to malicious informations. Porn books and movies have also been playing a major role in imparting the knowledge about sex.
          These unscrupulous knowledge gained by the young minds is further authenticated by the sensationalist celluloid and print, media, much maligned so called women’s or men’s magazines that present user favorite articles, stories and experiences related to sex, which further inflates the existing ignorance related to sex.        All these sources have not only provided incorrect informations but also prevent people from reaching out to the right source to gain the appropriate knowledge. This has resulted in lot of misconceptions and false informations being circulated not openly but as open secrets. These misconceptions has also been the base for not understanding or accepting the prevalence of sexual problems, even if such problems are identified; trying to live with it or take secret unprofessional measures to tackle it resulting in quacks taking advantage of the ignorance to make fortune for themselves.
        One of the reason for the propagation and maintenance of such misconceptions is almost certainly the awkwardness that most people feel when discussing anything of a sexual nature. The usual fears are that discussing sexual matters is giving permission to the other person to enter into ones extremely personal matters or there is chance that they may be over treading other person’s personal space. There are also wide fears that other person may mistake it as sexual intentions, or it might hurt the other party. This is because and only because most of us have been conditioned not to speak freely about sex by our parents, our educators, and the social and cultural conventions.
       Sex is not an endeavor in which the physical arousal and workout alone determines the effectiveness or satisfaction. Psychological, social and emotional factors play a more or at least an equally vital role in determining the effectiveness. But the most of us fail to go beyond the physiological factors associated with sex and sexuality.
       As always, the way to avoid the propagation and maintenance of such misconceptions is to avoid making assumptions, and to communicate with a professional or anybody else you can bring yourself to feel comfortable with. Asking and answering questions is still one of the best ways to get a point across, and real time communication helps in further clarification. Sex tends to engender strong feelings, so better get clear knowledge before it becomes a significant problem. Understanding the multiple factors associated with sex from the qualified trained personal will go a long way in helping everyone lead a satisfying sexual life

The next blog will be on the widely propagated myths about sex and sexuality

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